It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel caffeinated

Many of you may have seen or heard Lewis Black’s tirade on the infamous junction of Shepherd and W.Gray in Houston at which there is a Starbucks at the NorthEast and SouthEast corners of the intersection.

Well boys and girls, things have gotten even more interesting. Since EVERYTHING is bigger and better in Texas and consequently Houston, Houstonians aren’t satisfied with just two Starbucks across the street from each other- they need three. Yes, you read that right, there are now three Starbucks locations within 50 yards of each other at the point on this planet that Mr. Black affectionately refers to as the end of the universe. The new one being a Starbucks located in the recently opened bookstore adjacent to the free standing one of the two pre-existing Starbucks.

The Houston Chronicle does a good job chronicling (couldn’t resist) the caffeinated largesse that has brewed (sorry really couldn’t resist that one) in River Oaks.

Take a peek at Jason Witmer’s story and decide between quivering with excitement or shuddering in horror. Either way, there’s no escaping the triple-shot-grande-skinny-soy-caramel macchiatto-with-extra-foam masses no matter which way you turn.

All that intersection needs now is a coffee enema dispensary and, I believe, the circle will be complete.

Oh, see I…..

On-campus Interviews (OCI) areproving to be the bane of many a rising 2L as well as for those 3Ls still on the prowl. As a matter of fact, us law students are a bit spoiled. Most of us in undergrad or other grad schools would consider ourselved wildly fortunate to have gainful employ well before we enter our last semester in school. But us 3Ls have gotten mighty used to the ways of old.

As a veteran twice wounded by the firing guns of the dot-bomb debacle of the early 2000’s, I look at this current legal employment morass and say, ‘oh here we go again.’ So what’s a 2L looking for a summer job or a 3L looking for any job to do?

Well here’s a few lessons from someone (i.e. me) that’s seen the ugly side of a job hunt and has the scars to prove it:

1. Resume’s, e-mails, etc.:

Obviously before you get on the hunt, arm yourself with a well written, proof-read resume and a non-red flag inducing email address (e.g. john.doe@gmail.com rather than FrankTheTank@gmail.com ). When I was job hunting I would send my resume to my sister, my best friend, whoever was willing to look at it and check for errors and readability. Good resumes might not get you anywhere but bad resumes send you to the trash can.

2. Tell people you’re on the hunt:

Most people don’t get jobs from job boards or recruiting fairs or anything of the like, they get it through their network. Now before you imagine a world of high-priced attorneys hob-nobing over whiskey sours at ‘the club’, consider that your Uncle Bob who owns a ball-point pen distributorship probably has a lawyer he uses. He probably has a bunch of people he knows that are lawyers that might be willing to talk to you if your Uncle Bob puts in a good word. If you’re already in church praying for some greenbacks, turn to your neighbors and your pastor – somebody knows somebody, I guarantee it.

3.  Unpaid internships, clerkships etc.

When I worked at the Federal Courthouse, I didn’t get paid but I probably should have been paying them because I got great feedback with regard to my writing skills, got to meet a boat-load of top-notch legal professionals and got to put on my resume that I worked for one of the nicest judges this side of the Mississippi. Unpaid judicial internships during Fall and Spring are a lot of work but my friend that prodded me on to do one, was right when she said “it’ll be the best thing you could ever do for your legal career”. A good friend of mine volunteered his weekends working with the local bar association’s volunteer lawyer service. Lawyers who are volunteering their time are already open to the idea of helping somebody out. Go out there, volunteer and get your good karma going.

4. Professorial Brown-nosing is a craft I tell you

Law students have access to one of the richest legal resources out there and they’re usually obligated to talk to you -especially if you’re taking their classes. Law school professors know TONS of lawyers. Hundreds pass through their classrooms every year, not to mention the legion that consult with them and listen to them at CLEs and the like. I got one of my summer associate positions this past summer just by asking a professor I took a class with, if he knew of any firm that did a certain kind of legal work and if he could refer me to them. He said he’d make a few phone calls and the next week I had an interview and the week after I had a summer position. Now we all might not be so lucky but if you don’t engage your professors and they don’t know who you are, you’re already missing out and getting a job is the least of your worries.

5. Add some feathers to your legal wig errr cap.

Anything that makes you special, gives you an area of expertise or plays to your strengths should be highlighted, strengthened and brought to the forefront. If you spent time with the Peace Corps your senior year of college  in Algeria, you might want to make it known that you’re familiar with North African tradition and can be of help when a firm’s client wants to construct a pipeline there. Someone who played cello for the philharmonic can go a long way in getting that non-profit but high profile theater coalition signed up as a client. As my dear Father would say, “if you’ve got it, flaunt it!”

Hopefully these ideas will get you started and get me started back on regular blogging. My 1L mentor-group seems to be keen on most of what I say so I suppose I should spread the light.

Until next time dear readers….I hope the two of you had a good summer!

A Henri Nouwen mantra

I stumbled on this vignette this morning and thought it simply too good not to share:

“Anyone shot by a gun is first shot by a word and

anyone shot by a word is first shot by a thought”

- Henri Nouwen

It was used in the context of how people just with thoughts and words do far more damage than a bullet ever could do. I suppose the NRA could use this as a talking point!

But it is something to think about. I guess it is Good Friday, what better day to wax philosophical?

Maybe it’s true what they say about Aggies….

When it comes to Intra-Texas college rivalries, I can honestly say I don’t have a dog in the fight. If anything, after moving from State College, PA to Austin, TX, I was a little biased against the pervasive bloated burnt orange bovine that sits pretty in the middle of the Texas state capitol. So that would suggest that if anything, I should be giving the Aggies from College Station a bit of deference. And I do and did. Until this. You see I never understood all those jokes people made about Aggies being a few cards short of a full deck, a la this joke:

Did you hear about the aggie that got locked out of his car?
     He spent two hours trying to get his wife and kids out!

 But then I saw this and had to take a picture with my trusty camera phone:

A clue: look at the A & M sign next to the model name of the car. I’ve wiped out the license plate to protect the, err innocent?

aggiecar

Spring Break Blues – A cautionary tale

I think the hardest thing for most evening students is reconciling the fact that our social life effectively gets flushed down the toilet the day we walk into law school. I particularly am amazed by those in my cohort that juggle the family life, law school and a full-time job. I tip my hat to you oh masters-of-your-own-universe.  Anytime I grumble about being a slave to my schedule I remember that one of my classmate’s youngest kids asked my classmate’s wife ‘who’s that man that stayed at the house on weekends’ because for more than a few semesters he left home before his child got up and got home after she was put to bed.

So it is with great reluctance that I submit myself back to demands of the lawschool schedule after a blissful spring break. I reckon I was supposed to study, get ahead of the reading, perhaps even outline. I was having none of that. I took a vacation, if only in my head. And let me tell you dear reader, yes both of you, that was the only way to go.

Year 3 of 4 has been hard in a different way. Oddly enough, this semester, I only started to gripe about class well past the half-way point. What’s really been poking away at me is seeing the full-time class that started 3 months after I did, get ready to graduate and here I’ll be trudging away for another year.

All I can do from using my textbooks as kindling is remembering that 1) I choose to do this 2) Nobody made me do this 3) Deep down I love this stuff and 4) Short term pain for long term gain.

The other thing that keeps me sane is re-reading my statement of purpose (S.O.P.) for law school. Mine was pretty awesome if I do say so myself (and I do). It wasn’t so much an S.O.P. as it was a mission statement, a manifesto of what and why. And so I am, in the end, terribly pleased that I was made to write one as a condition for admission. Nothing clarifies something like having to think about it. I was and am clear why I’m here.

So what’s our take home here:

a) Prospective law student- Caveat Emptor- Buyer Beware. You better be sure you want this because if you don’t you will die the slow death!

and

b) Don’t listen to anyone else – they give you Spring Break for a reason and it’s not to dive into even more silly law school work. Your sanity and your loved ones are far more important. Spend it doing what you want with whom you want. I did and look at me – heck I’m not even bitter!

Quadros locuta est- Causa finita est!

I wouldn’t do that if I were you

” I wouldn’t do that if I were you”, was the oft-repeated phrase I heard as a child. Whether it be a word of caution from a parent, an older sibling or a friend that was looking out for my general well-being. I mostly associate the phrase with discourses between Junior, the protagonist from the movie ‘Problem Child’, and his arch-nemesis Trixie. Trixie would say repeatedly to Junior: “I wouldn’t do that if I were you” to which Junior aptly responded ” I wouldn’t do a lot of things if I were you, like go out in public!”

With that contextual yet random bit of early 90s film trivia behind us, I must vent about this world’s obsession with the belief that riding a motorcycle is the world’s greatest death wish. After many years of procrastinating, I took and successfully passed the Motorcycle Safety Foundation course in, well, Motorcycle safety. Having done so, I felt that I was now better suited to get in gear and get a motorbike for the occasional daily ride and largely weekend pursuit. I live, work and go to school all in an area that is no greater than 6 miles wide. When gas was at its insane high last summer, switching to a sport tourer would have cut my gas consumption into half and, since I drive such short distances, reduce the amount of wear and tear on my vehicle. But whenever I tell people I’m scouring Craig’s list for a sport tourer or the like, I get this look of amazement like I’m asking them to source an eightball of cocaine (btw I only discovered what an eightball was in the past two weeks courtesy of all the substance abuse info I’m getting in my professional responsibility class).

I think the high point of it all ( or is it the low point?) was when someone, as they puffed their cigarette (that’s right -the cancer stick that has no proven upside!) decided to berate me about what a poor choice I was going to make by getting a motorcycle and how simply dangerous it was. Imagine that, someone smoking a cigarrette, telling me I’m crazy because I want a motorcycle!

Rings a bit of kettle calling the tea-pot black huh?

So I guess the next time someone comments about my impending two-wheeled motor purchase and says, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you”, I should take a cue from Junior and say “I wouldn’t do a lot of things if I were you but then again, I’m not you.”

Hot or not?

Have you ever wondered what made a hot-spot hot? Or how in the blink of an eye it’s not that way anymore. Adverse selection, ladies and gentlemen. And God bless the chaps at Agoraphilia for explaining it so well.

It seems that once ‘hot’ people see other ‘hot’ people or know that they will see such folks at a club then they are more likely to go there and then there’s this rapid escalation to a point where lots of ‘hotties’ are about. But in the same vein the entire thing can unravel just as quickly if on any given day pickings are slim when a new ‘hottie’ shows up.

For more on Adverse selection, in the curious subcontext of BDSM clubs, please check out http://agoraphilia.blogspot.com/2009/02/adverse-selection-in-bdsm-clubs.html

So all you math, economics, finance and science majors that learned adverse selection as part of your box of analytical tools to understand whatever it is you were studying- all is not lost. You can actually do more with your degree than you planned. You now can analyze partner selections in BDSM clubs. Your momma certainly would be proud!

The Rest of the Story: R.I.P Paul Harvey

I love old time radio. And when I mean old time radio I mean radio in the Orson Wells reading War of the Worlds sense. Or with that news flash, telegraph pole beeping – “This just in, we interrupt this radio broadcast to bring you….” sense. So this morning I was quite saddened to hear that Paul Harvey, the king of radio news(in my book) past away. The advantage that radio has over television is that we are forced to listen. There is no other way receive that form of communication. TV and particularly TV news is sensationalistic sensory overload. And between the remarkably attractive (I’m not complaining about this part) news reporter with the ultra glossy lipstick telling me the world is about to end as she winks through her Palin-esque glasses, and the editing that would make a Hype Williams music video seem tame, the basis for the story is lost to me.

It is sad more people don’t listen to the radio. When I grew up, and I think I’ve mentioned this before, I would hear the English broadcasts of Radio Tehran or the BBC World Servic and of course the pervasive, Voice of America. The Soviets called it, ‘Capitalist Propaganda’. The Iranians “inspiration from the Infidels!”. I just called it the VOA. But there’s definitely something to radio quite like reading that forces you to participate the television simply won’t.

Paul Harvey would have been excellent trial lawyer. His deliberate speech with his undulating tones would have swayed any jury. And I think more than anyone else, he mastered the power of the pause. One could almost hear him thinking in his head while we heard dead silence contemplating his finale , ‘wait for it, waaait for it……wait for it’ and then it hit us, “And that my friends is the rest of the story!”

Is it criminal to be an idiot?

Holocaust deniers are not my brand of vodka. They prove the scariest point of fanaticism: that despite ample (and often indisputable) evidence to the contrary they hold their beliefs to be true. But should we criminalize people who are just, for want of a better word, stupid?

The reason I’ve resurrected from the dead on this blog, is the whole morass with the formerly ex-communicated-now on Catholic parole- British Bishop Richard Williamson. You can get the background of the story here.

Long story short, Williamson once espoused (and has done a poor job recanting) that he felt the Holocaust was overblown, barely happened, etc. Was he silly to deny probably the most well documented systematic atrocity in the past 100years. Surely he was/is. But should he go to jail for it?

Germany makes it a crime to deny the Holocaust and is seeking to arrest Williams on a charge of committing a hate crime. More on that here.

At first blush most of us wouldn’t flinch when we read that. But it irks me so. It’s a CRIME to deny something happened? Wait a minute. He didn’t incite someone to harm, he didn’t inflict harm, all he’s doing is saying something didn’t happen and thinks it to be true. And that’s supposed to be criminal? Methinks not.

That’s very scary. The reason why that’s scary is because if that law were to be okay, then the EU could come up with a rule that said it was a crime to think Californian wines are better than those from Bordeaux. Not mislabelling bottles, not breaking a bottle of Bordeaux over someone’s head, just denying that Bordeaux is better than a Napa valley vintage.

I am petrified at the prospect that a government would regulate an idea or even speech when there is no inducement to cause harm or violence. I don’t like what Williamson has said. I don’t like those who espouse racist or bigoted beliefs but when a government tries to control someone’s thoughts and words especially when those words do not manifest into untoward action, I cannot muster support for such encroachment on civil liberties.

OCI: From a Hiring Partner’s Perspective

I was looking up the NALP (National Association for Law Placement) rules about OCI on google and stumbled rather fortuitously on a blog written by a hiring partner at a law firm.

It’s called Hiring Partner’s Office and it doles out succinct and thankfully very candid advice about on-campus recruitment, what the hiring partner thinks and navigating the curious world of legal employ.

Worth a read methinks.

You can find it at http://hiringpartneradvice.blogspot.com/

Now you know.