While many of my fellow students are in the throes of hedonism as part of their spring break and others are trying in earnest to eradicate the beast that is law school papers ( a la Ana ), my spring break has sunk to new lows because I am filling in an online dating profile. What makes it even worse is that it isn’t even for me. I don’t know how I get stuck with these gigs but somehow my Rasta friend sweet-talked me into writing her profile because she isn’t too keen on writing those things. As if anyone wakes up in the morning and thinks to themselves, ” Gee today I’m going to write the best darn dating profile in the world”.
I guess this really is all my fault. When she asked me to look at her profile and tell her what I thought, this crazy brown boy did just that. My response was just that it didn’t sound like her and what was the point of putting something out there if it wasn’t even going to be a good reflection of her person. After I descended off my soap-box I got a firm “well if you don’t think it sounds like me, then you write it” and me being the fool that I am said ” And just maybe I will”.
So here we are.
The closest thing to an online dating profile I’ve ever written was my statement of purpose for law school. I know, dear reader, that you may find that to be a rather noxious thought but I think the approach worked ( well I am in law school you know). Here’s why. Online dating, like statements of purpose or any other partnership transaction is an effort of one party to tender goods ( in this case the person or commercial entity ) under terms that would be acceptable to the other. I realise how awful this analogy is and how much my law class on Contracts has completely pervaded my brain. Indeed I am a lost cause. Light a candle, say a prayer.
So this leads me to my next assertion that isn’t this whole dating thing a glorified marketplace? Aren’t we all ( us single + you philandering allegedly-committed types) just tendering ourselves up to the most viable buyer? Aren’t we all just in a modified version of the ancient bazaars that tantalise shoppers with attractive facades and hollow promises of long term worth? Suddenly the notion of meat market is not too far off.
Consequent assertion: Things like online dating and matchmakers etc. even though they might seem expensive could actually reduce the overhead and transactional costs associated with traditional “go out there & mingle and fend for yourself” dating. Dare I say it, online dating is remarkable in its economic efficiency. Let’s work the numbers. Let’s say that average brown boy goes out on the town trawling for viable co-conspirators in the game of life. Through random searches and expensive weekends at clubs etc. spends say $150 per week in search efforts. Say that at the end of 4 weeks avg. brown boy nets 2 good possibilities. 6 dates later ( assuming 3 dates a piece) and $210 later ( assuming $35 a date-which we know is on the low end-), avg. brown boy still might not be any closer to intended goal. Compare with the likes of online dating sites which at least help you separate the wheat from the chaff where one would at least, as the website claim, have more first dates and better second ones. ( Speaking of wheat & chaff I wonder if one engaged in that date-filter process on the weekend, would that count as not keeping the Sabbath? Good question for Rabbi Love…) And I’m tempted to believe most online dating sites cost far less. I’m unfamiliar but I don’t think they are more than $100/month. Fundamentally though the hypothesis that online dating is more efficient is predicated on the fact that their ’success’ ratios, whatever ’success’ is defined to be has to be greater than or equal ( and if the site is cheaper maybe even slightly less) than traditional dating methodology.
The more I think about things, I realise that market & economic theory can be used to explain a host of things. I’m really tempted to dive into more of this stuff academically. I shall have to speak with BelleWeather about this because this is absolutely her bag.
